Things Teagan Says VI

"When I was a Grandma, I used to go to heaven all the time."

Out of the blue: "Grandad died. Why?"

T: "What was her name? Who was dat? Is it a girl or a boy?"
Me: "I don't know."
T: "I'm asking Daddy."
Daddy: "Her name is Sally."
T: "Who's Sally?"

Talking to Aunt Tiffy about boobs - still not sure how that one came up...
Teagan: "What are these?"
Tiffy: "What your mummy has."
Teagan: "What are they for?"
Tiffy: "To feed babies."
Teagan: "Where's your baby?"
Tiffy: "I don't have one."
Teagan...pointing: "Are they broken?"

"Those are church diapers! See? He's wearing a church shirt!"

Colouring a picture of a frog that's saying "Kiss me!" I asked if she would kiss a frog...
"Yes, when it's coloured."

T: "Guess what."
Me: "What?"
T: "I love you. Guess what."
Me: "What?"
T: I love my brother so much.

She wanted to take photos of me...
"That was PERFECT!" The photos were all blurry and incredibly ill-timed. The encouragement was nice, though.

Me: "Do you want to be a mum?"
T: "Maybe. But I don't know. I'm sleeping now that I'm four."
Wise words, little one.

Me: "We are going to chat with G-Pop's mummy tomorrow."
T: "What does she look like?
Me: "Well she looks a lot like G-Pop."
T: "But she probably has a different sound than G-Pop. And she probably doesn't have a mustache."

Less than a week after cutting out snuggling and having her beg me to stay I lingered for 5 seconds after finishing my song. In the darkness, "What are you still doing here?" Charming.

Sitting in the cart at the dollar store, resting her chin in her hands and reflecting that she used to do things Mason did when she was little like Mason.

"Sometimes I get out of here to go places."

"It's just so FASCINATING!" (she meant frustrating)

"Never get away from me anymore!" (she in fact wanted me to go away. Mixed messages.)

One day I was making a concerted effort to be really fun and spontaneous.
"Why do you keep doing fun things, mom?"
Apparently it was out of character. And unnecessary.

At Big Hero 6, during a somber (and silent) moment after a death:
"Why does fire make people die?"

Mason grunts.
T: "He's making a funny noise. I think he's dying."
The only thing dying is my olfactory sense. He was tooting - not dying.

"Daddy! There's an eagle in your shoe!"
(Buddy was wearing an old WSU basketball tournament shirt featuring a shoe with wings.)

Trying to convince her to sleep in her own bed...
Buddy: "Daddy's too big for the bed."
T: "It's okay, Dad. Everybody's feet do that sometimes."
Buddy: "Do you think I will break the bed?"
T: It will not break it. But there's a soft blanket. You will be fine, Daddy."

"Look! She has an eyebrow like Bert!"

Things Teagan Says V

Named her babies the following:

Baby Darthy (not “Dorothy” – from firsthand experience) and Baby Blones.

Named her Care Bear “hot dog vanilla ice rainbow ice cream with a heart.”

“Mason’s been crying for 6 years. And he’s been poopy for 5 years.”

“Oh my cow.” (Combo of “Oh my goodness” and “Holy cow”)

“Boom shacka shacka.

Teagan: “Let’s have some girl fizzy drink.” (Strawberry Fanta)

Me: “But you don’t like fizzy drink.”

Teagan: “I do! Let’s have some fizzy drink.”

{Pssst of the opening can}

Teagan: “I don’t like fizzy drink.”

“Mom, can I please have ice?”

I gave it to her.

“It’s cold. I don’t like cold.”

Teagan: “Today we need a t-shirt, shorts and socks.”

Me: “And cheese?”

Teagan: “Yes. And cheese.”

“When I was a grandma, I used to go to heaven all the time…Grandad died. Why?”

Me: “Let’s think of rhyming words.”

Teagan: “Okay. Grass and…walk!” (I must say I was relieved.)

Teagan: “There’s a bad guy in my room!”

I bolted up the stairs not knowing what I would find, and when I found nothing, I brought her up to have her point it out. It was the mom from the dollhouse.

“I don’t want Mason to grow up.” She actually gets very emotional about this and we get into heated, existential debates.

Teagan: “Why does Daddy have to work?”

Me: “Because we need money.”

Teagan: “We need money to buy ice cream? We already have ice cream. I don’t want Daddy to go to work.”

Teagan: “Are you Daddy’s age?”

Me: “Well, Daddy is 8 months older than me.” Which lead to a discussion of months vs. years. “Months are less than years. Mason isn’t a year old yet, he’s just months. He’s 8 months." Apparently she didn’t grasp the concept.

Teagan: “So are you 8 months?”

She’s been in a big Chipmunks and Chipettes phase lately, so we borrowed the latest movies from the library and watched them sing all sorts of chart toppers. I showed her Beyonce’s Single Ladies and she simply asked, “Where’s Britney?”

In church, looking through the LDS Gospel Art book:

Livi: “This is Thomas S. Monson, he’s our prophet.”

Teagan: “He’s our prophet too!”

In the bathtub:

“My toots look like fireworks.”

Playing Potato Heads.

Teagan: “Mom, this is my Potato Head. Ask me about her family!”

Me: “Where’s your mum?”

Teagan: “Oh, she’s dead.”

Teagan: “Sad! Do you miss her?”

Teagan: “No.” She won’t be giving my eulogy!

Ended up with toilet paper hanging out of her bottom. I tried to remove it.

“But I want a tail!”

This little woman is so wonderfully weird and crazy curious and I love her funny little personality when we aren't at odds over something trivial that snowballs into a meltdown.

The Things Teagan Says IV...

Mummy: "Are you dry? Do you need to pee?"

Teagan: "No, thanks for asking!"

"Come on, buddy Daddy!" Apparently I call him Buddy a little too often.

Our family dinner question the other night was "What would you wish for if you had three wishes?"

Teagan's list: 

1. A trampoline.

2. Livi.

3. A phone.

Teagan: "You a good mommy, Mommy."

Then I kissed her.

Teagan: "Oh yuck! Oh yuck means I love mommy and daddies."

"This is nice, Mom." as we were snuggling while we were both sick.

"I'm not eating Mason." It's when she tells me she's not doing something that I need to be nervous.

"I need an egg. Not an Easter egg, that's not what I'm talking about. A Halloween egg." (Cadbury's Screme Eggs)

"My daddy ate lots of cookies so his tummy got really big."

Teagan (holding Mason): "I don't really like from up on my arm."

Mummy: "It's not throw up, it's just drool."

Teagan: "Oh. I don't really like drool on my arm."

Teagan: "Mommy, can you please help me wiv my puzzle?"

Daddy: "Can Daddy help you with your puzzle?"

Teagan: "Well, it's gonna be hard, Daddy."

According to Teagan, blowing raspberries on one's tummy is actually called "Spinkletoots."

The same girl who called her first baby doll "Baby" has been calling her second baby - get this - Baby Blones. Not sure what the origin of this particular name is, but it makes me laugh every time she talks about her. And that's a lot.

I love having conversations with my little girl. When she's not yelling (and sometimes even when she is), she's an absolute riot!

The Things Teagan Says: Part III

Me: "I think I hear Mason."
Teagan: "I'll check on him!" {bounds up the stairs} "MOM! HE'S NOT AWAKE!" <slams door>

Heart to little heart, just her and I in the van.
Teagan: "Daddy and Mason cannot go to church. They are boys."
Me: "So only girls can go to church?"
Teagan: "Yeah. Me and you are girls. Keaton is my best friend. Keaton is my best friend. Keaton is my best friend. (not a typo, repeated three times) Ty and Donovan and Keaton can come and sit with me."
Me: "Do you have any friends that are girls?"
Teagan: "Yeah, us! Mason is just little. He has to wait to go to church."

Teagan, coming down the stairs in a random assortment of clothing and accessories: "The show's about to start!"
Me: "Where did you find those clothes?
Teagan: "I don't know."
Me: "Where did they come from?"
Teagan: " I don't know. Livi gave them to me."
Me: "Where did you get them from?"
Teagan: "In the bag. The black one. In my room."
Me: "The one I told you not to go into?"
Teagan nods.
Me: "Is your room a mess?
Teagan: "No." {long pause} "I go clean my room. You don't come up, Mommy. I clean it. I love you ferry much!" {runs, not walks, up the stairs}

Teagan: "What do toots look like?"
Asking the hard questions already.

Sitting at the dinner table.
Teagan: "I try your dinner."
Me: "If you ask me nicely, yes, you can try my dinner."
Teagan: "No, I TRY your dinner already!"
Sure enough, a small bit had been taken out of both of my hamburger buns.

Me: This orange juice definitely has pulp.
Teagan: "POOP?!"

Brandon: "Dinner is served."
Teagan: "I don't like served. I want hot dogs."

Noove = Move
Niputer = Computer

The Things Teagan Says II

Daddy (in regards to banana bread): "Let's throw in some chocolate chips."
Teagan: "No Daddy! Chocolate chips is NOT for frowing!" (complete with finger wag)

Daddy: "We didn't call Sam on his birthday yesterday. We really dropped the ball."
Teagan: "No we didn't drop the ball! We KICKED it!"

"I Teagan, your sister, and I love you very much!"

Teagan (from the bathroom): "I NEED TO WIPE!"
Me (with adrenaline pulsing through my veins running in her general direction): "What do you need to wipe?"
Teagan: "My face."
And I exhaled.

Playing store...
Teagan: "What you need today?"
Michelle: "Bread and milk, please." Then we switched roles.
Michelle: "What do you need today?"
Teagan: "A car. A big car."

Discussing full names...
"No, Daddy! Your name Noodles Daddy Brandon."

Climbing in and out of the crib and smashing between her legs.
"I okay wiv my bum."

Mummy: "Did you have dreams last night?"
Teagan: "No, I don't wear jeans to bed! I wear PAJAMAS!"

Watching Daniel Tiger's Neighbourhood and he goes to the doctor for a checkup. As the doctor goes to give him the shot, Teagan peeked out from behind the couch, wincing and cringing. When the needle touches his skin, she cried out in pain and had a very physical reaction, as though she were getting a shot herself. They recommend thinking about something happy, so I asked her what made her happy. Without missing a beat: "Mason!"

"I don't want to look at the picture of Jesus in my room. Why not? He's grumpy." Or perhaps she's just feeling guilty about pooping in her diaper instead of the potty.

The Things Teagan Says...

Teagan: Mom, I want to give your tummy a little squeeze.

Me: Why?

Teagan: Because it's beautiful.

Mom, I want to come wiv you wash your hands. But don't touch me with poo.

Me: Remember not to run with scissors, sweetheart.

Teagan: I don't like running.

Did you know I was a baby when I was just born?

You're so pretty Mummy. (After I'd already started to read her an extra story - no flattery needed.)

In the middle of a Target trip: I love you very much, Mom. (Aww!)

During a particularly difficult bout with constipation, with hours spent on the potty hugging Buddy and I or squeezing our fingers, she wanted to accompany me to the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet, she offered for me to hold her hands and squeeze. How sweet.

We spent 20 minutes reading the book I made telling her birth story. She pointed to my belly in the photo then pulled up my shirt and said "It's a match!"

I had her put her hand on my tummy because it was moving. "Mummy! My bum's moving - put your hand on it."

To Mason: I'm just here. Don't just cry. You need a hold my finger?

"Eebee" - even
"A most a be" - supposed to be
"Nipstick" - lipstick...or a brilliant new invention