In defense of my birth plan.

I'm having a scheduled C-section. There. I wrote it. I'm working on actually saying it with as much gusto in the face of people asking me what the plan is. For some reason, I feel a little sheepish when I tell people that I'm having a second C-section instead of a VBAC. Maybe it's because most people ask me whether I'm attempting a VBAC and then I'm automatically on the defensive. The fact is, unlike a lot of women these days, I trust my doctor. No, I haven't scoured the internet for all the reasons why doctors are "pushing" C-sections and I haven't done hours of reading up on statistics or watched documentaries on birthing as a business. But I've had the same OB/GYN for 5 years who is familiar with my medical history and I trust that he knows better than I do when it comes to childbirth. Many women claim that they know their bodies better than any doctor could, and I believe that is true for them and they are welcome to make their decisions accordingly, but only having been through the birthing process once and having been pregnant only twice, not to mention having had trouble conceiving both of my children, I am more comfortable referring to the medical authorities on issues like childbirth.

Granted, my doctor isn't one who performs VBACs. Not many in Las Vegas are - I've heard as few as 3 actually perform them. I suppose I could seek out a new doctor, but I've been seeing mine for 5 years now and have developed a relationship and I feel confident in his decision-making ability. I have heard wondering things about one particular doctor here in Vegas who performs the majority of the VBACs here, mostly because he sleeps at the hospital "just in case" he's needed on a VBAC. I know he's married with children and it breaks my heart to think about how much time he's having to spend away from them - Brandon's dad is an OB/GYN so I know he has an idea of how much he's away from his own family.

Like I said, I haven't done hoards of research (or much at all) but there must be a reason that only 3 doctors at select hospitals actually perform the procedure. My doctor told me that Nevada requires a doctor to be "immediately available" for a VBAC, but doesn't give any more specific parameters on what exactly "immediate" means. It could mean 1/2 an hour and if something goes wrong with a VBAC, it goes wrong in a matter of minutes. I would rather have a calm and collected team prepared to perform a C-section at a certain time than labour (again) and panic when something goes wrong and have 10 minutes' notice that I'm going to have major surgery. 

Home births and midwives seem to be all the rage these days, but it's not a trend I'm interested in entertaining in the least. Especially since Teagan required an emergency C-section, I shudder to think what might have happened if we hadn't been at the hospital. I am glad that Brandon and I are on the same page when it comes to birthing plans and I'm not fighting him to be at home and he's not pushing me to do anything I'm not comfortable with. I think it must be difficult as a father to have such a minimal role in the whole pregnancy thing. They can be supportive and loving, but they never really know what it feels like and can only hope and trust us to do what's right and best for their baby when it comes to taking care of them and ourselves. Even when I'm too exhausted to make it to my bed and awake all night with heartburn, I don't envy them having to stay on the sidelines and observe with little to no control. My husband trusts me to make the right decisions when it comes to both myself and our baby and I think it's important to remember the baby in all of it. Sure, a VBAC would be wonderful so I can actually experience the process that my body was intended to endure, but is my baby's safety worth my pride? Last I checked, there were no medals given for home births or VBACs or natural births without epidurals and I shouldn't be any less proud of myself when I wind up in birthing conversations with other mums. For me, bringing a baby into the world safe, healthy and loved is all that really matters in the end.