You know the saying, "_ _it happens"? Well, it happened. The term "Crappy Karma" comes to mind as I remember laughing at the plight of my friends as they posted about their children smearing feces all over themselves. I'm not laughing now. Is it one of those things that all kids do? Is it just a rite of passage for children and parents alike? Well whatever it is, it stinks. Allow me to set the stage...
I was nagging my husband (as I am wont to do) to get out and run his Saturday errands (that is, early voting and a bank trip, neither of which I could do for him) before Teagan woke up so it wouldn't be just another day when the two of us are home alone together. There was a little dillying, a lot of dallying and even more research on political candidates, so sure enough I heard her yelp from her crib before he'd left the house. And boy was I glad. Merely opening the door to her room burned my nostrils. 'Oh, she has a poopy diaper' thought I. But where is it? Answer: the floor. Which was a blessing in disguise, because she apparently hadn't left herself much to work with when it came to smearing. But with what little she had, she managed to hit all four sides of the crib, the sheet and saved some for her feet, legs, hands, arms and <shudder> face.
"BRANDON!" He knew something was wrong because a) I never call him Brandon and b) I was shrieking. He came running and upon seeing/smelling our predicament said the following: "I have to get to the bank before it closes." Needless to say, the joke was NOT well received. He hobbled to the bank after wiping down the crib.
Never again will she nap in only a diaper. (What? It's still hot here!) And never again will Buddy crack a joke (pun intended) when there's a poo-covered toddler involved. Hoping that's the end of it. That was one nasty milestone!
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