Boiling point at the buffet

I, like many of you, parent differently when I'm out in public, in an attempt to benefit those around us. I parent differently in public. For better or worse. I'm being honest, here. 

So, when I went out to a buffet with my family and Teagan refused to eat anything I put in front of her and instead whined and complained, I gave her things I knew she would like (ahem, ice cream and candy) just to keep her quiet. 

We were seated directly beside a grandma, daughter and granddaughter (a few years older than Teagan, I'd wager) and I noticed that I was getting sideways glances and sighs from the grandma in relation to Teagan. I began to speculate as to what this lady was thinking about me, particularly when I got up from the table, noticeably pregnant. I'll never be able to say with 100% certainty that she was judging me and being overly critical of my parenting, but the looks she flashed me and the way she whispered to her daughter while looking in my direction, suggested to me that she thought I wasn't doing a good job.

Add to that the fact that I'd been without my partner in parenting for a couple of weeks, my siblings (none of whom have children) were asking my Mum if they were ever that picky as kids (heaven bless Mum for answering "of course!") and I was more than a little overwhelmed. 

It became clear to Mum that I was agitated and she asked me what was wrong. Completely out of character for me, I lashed out and said that "I just wished SOME people would stop staring at me - it isn't making anything better!" and I glanced in the direction of my critical old lady friend who, of course, was looking right at me and we made eye contact that in the moment must have been uncomfortable for her, but I was so emotional that I didn't care. Teagan yelled "No!" for the millionth time and I lost it. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I felt more and more like a complete failure in the parenting department and my sister offered to take Teagan for a walk as Dad instructed me to "go to the bathroom and pull myself together." (British men don't cry, and expect the same of others, so you can imagine raising 3 girls has been an adventure for him.)  

I managed to feign being calm and collected upon returning from the bathroom and felt more than vindicated when this lady's granddaughter threw a fit upon leaving. Parenting is hard. Instead of sneering, we should be supportive. Instead of judging, we should jump at the chance to help. Instead of staring, we should smile. Acknowledge that you've been there. Or at the very least, not stare and whisper. You may just cause a hormonal pregnant woman to breakdown at a buffet - ordinarily one of her happy places.